10 Signs Your Relationship Isn’t Insta-Love

10 Signs Your Relationship Isn't Insta-Love

Insta-love in books—it’s horrible! We all hate it. Characters know each other for about 5 minutes and are already declaring their love. To celebrate love that has built up over time rather than instantly, I’ve compiled a list of 10 reasons why your relationship isn’t insta-love.

1. He loves you when you make a fool out of yourself

What’s the single most embarrassing thing you can think of? Well, imagine doing it in front of him. You want to run, hide, and never reemerge again because OHMYGOD HE SAW!!! It’s okay though, because he still loves you. (And there’s only some minor teasing.)

2. It wasn’t love at first sight

Maybe it was like at first sight, or interest at first conversation.. but it wasn’t love straight away. You took time to get to know each other before you fell head over heels.

3. He makes sacrifices for you

He has absolutely zero interest in seeing Frozen, but after one look at your big puppy dog eyes and enthusiasm, there’s no way he can say no.

4. He goes out of his way to do sweet things you didn’t ask for

You sit around moaning about your cookie craving, then the next day, he buys you cookies on his way home from work. And a bonus here: he listens, even when you’re pathetically moaning about how you want cookies.

5. He comfortably talks about the future with you, and follows through

Maybe he plans a trip with you six months in advance, or he talks about where you two might be in two years. Then, when the time comes, he follows through with his plans.

6. You can recognize all his different facial expressions

That’s his fake smile, that’s the smile he uses when he’s teasing you, that’s the smile he uses when he’s ridiculously happy, that’s the smile he uses when he’s doing something really weird and cute and is totally pleased with himself.

You’ve got them all nailed down. No manual needed.

7. He challenges you.. in a way that can be frustrating, but you secretly love it

He won’t do everything for you, and won’t let you take the easy way out. But it’s only because he love you and wants to help you learn.

8. He gives you first pick of the garlic bread

Because, you know, there are the perfectly crispy pieces, then there are the “not so crispy” pieces. He lets you pick your pieces first so you can snag all the extra crispy ones.

9. He misses you when you’re gone

Whether you’re gone all day, all week, or all month, he’s missing you and thinking of you. And of course, you miss him back! πŸ˜‰

10. He still loves you, despite your quirks

Whether it’s a massive addiction to hot chocolate, or weird sleeping habits, or you turn into the hulk if you don’t consume food within one hour of waking up, he can see past that and loves you anyway!

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I'm a 30-something California girl living in England (I fell in love with a Brit!). My three great passions are: books, coding, and fitness. more »

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  1. Oh my god. This is spot bloody on. I’m guessing the inspiration for this would be Coding God. πŸ˜›
    I can happily say that I have every single point, thank you very much to my amazing boyfriend.
    Except step 5. Not that he is uncomfortable, he just forgets plans 10 mins after making. Typical male cliche right there.

    Brea Johnson recently posted: Love β€˜n’ Fate, Breezy Hate
    1. Haha, you guessed right. πŸ˜‰ It started out as a general post, but then I realized all of my reasons were because of Coding God LOL.

  2. Yes to all these points! I kept nodding, because my relationship has all these points. We were friends before we started to feel more for each other, he has watched all the Disney movies together with me (and I still get him to watch movies he doesn’t really like <3) and we talk about the future all the time and are both excited for our plans (even when he is sometimes a bit forgetful, haha).

    This was very cute!

    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted: Early Review 256. Jennifer Donnelly – Deep blue.
  3. This post is absolutely adorable <3 I'm glad that my relationship is pretty much under all of these. However, we haven't really seen each other too much in real life. Lots of Skyping and planning of meet ups for now. πŸ™‚ Loved this post!

    Sandra @ Sandra's World of Books recently posted: April Wrap Up
    1. I know exactly what you mean. My husband and I met online and I lived in California and he lived in England. We had many years of an international long distance relationship where we barely saw each other. But then I ran off to the UK to live with him. πŸ˜‰

    1. That’s awesome!! πŸ˜€

      And yes, definite crashing and burning in many YA books. Sigh.

  4. Oh my gosh, this post is the cutest!!! I love it. My favorite is the one where you know all of his different facial expressions. Oh yes. I can tell when my husband is serious, when he is just saying something to make me happy, when he’s happy, sad, angry, annoyed. You name it, I know it. “that’s the smile he uses when he’s doing something really weird and cute and is totally pleased with himself.” Oh yes. I know that smile.

    Wonderful post! You totally made me smile. πŸ™‚

    1. Aww that sounds amazing! I’m pining for my husband right now. I haven’t seen him in about 3 weeks because I’ve been visiting my parents.

  5. After reading this post and the comments, I feel like such a baby! I’ve never been in a relationship. School first, boys later–that’s always been my family’s mantra. Oh well. Right now, I’m happy to enjoy my final years of high school, friends, and family and live vicariously through my favorite book characters. “Someday my prince will come.” Right?
    Nonetheless, I love this post.

    Dana @ The Nerdy Journalist recently posted: What do you do with books you don’t review?
  6. This is just the cutest thing ever. CUTEST. And I LOVE your banner for this! ADORABLE.

    (Evidently I have had no romantic experiences but at least now I know what to look for, right? πŸ˜‰ )

    Nikki recently posted: Royally Lost by Angie Stanton
  7. I have been married for twenty-six years and would have to agree Ashley. This is an adorable post. I would add; finish each other sentences, and knowing you have had a bad day even when you greet him with a smile. Have a great weekend

    kimbacaffeinate recently posted: Giving In by Maya Banks
  8. Other than the first one and the little bit of teasing, because with my husband it is a LOT of teasing, you hit the nail on the head. I am thankful every single day for my non insta-love, absolutely beautiful, awesome in every way relationship. And no insta-love was necessary for our relationship to thrive. It happened naturally as it should, and all of those 10 things are a part of it every day and many more, and I wouldn’t change a thing. THAT is what I think teenagers and twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings should be reading about in the books that we love. Give everyone of us something REAL to look forward to. I love this post so much; it is absolutely one of the best posts written, and I can’t wait for more and more people to see it!

    Jaime Lester recently posted: Ever After High #2: The Unfairest of Them All
  9. This is so cute omg I was beaming the entire time and now I want a boyfriend so bad *cries* Like honestly I think it would be the cutest thing to maybe even mention something like, “I’m craving some Pringles right now” and then the next day he would just show up with a box and I think that would be so adorable! Or I want that relationship when you know when each other’s in a bad mood and can make the other person happy by giving them their favorite food or something you know that they love πŸ™‚ Ahh fantastic list, Ashley! <33

    Eileen @ Singing and Reading in the Rain recently posted: Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson
  10. I have a feeling this equals you and Coding God and OH MY GOSH if that is true I ship you too so much. This just gave me happy heart feels.

  11. Hehe most of them are true actually. And the frustrating part. Like there are times when I’m supposed to do some serious paperwork and since they mostly bore me to death I’d just give lame excuses like ”I don’t know the procedure” and all, so that he tags along with me to help but he would give me more lame excuses for him not going instead, because he knows him being with me would actually slow me down, as I would be busy teasing and chatting with him more than doing any work. Even though it annoys the hell out of me when he does that, I’m kind of thankful (though I’ll never admit) to him πŸ˜€

    Munira recently posted: Alternatives to Goodreads I've Used

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