Published by: Omnific Publishing on November 25, 2012
Genre: Adult, Contemporary, Erotica, Humor, Romance
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Caroline Reynolds has a fantastic new apartment in San Francisco, a KitchenAid mixer, and no O (and we're not talking Oprah here, folks). She has a flourishing design career, an office overlooking the bay, a killer zucchini bread recipe, and no O. She has Clive (the best cat ever), great friends, a great rack, and no O.
Adding insult to O-less, since her move, she has an oversexed neighbor with the loudest late-night wallbanging she's ever heard. Each moan, spank, and—was that a meow?—punctuates the fact that not only is she losing sleep, she still has, yep, you guessed it, no O.
Enter Simon Parker. (No, really, Simon, please enter.) When the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. Their late-night hallway encounter has, well, mixed results. Ahem. With walls this thin, the tension's gonna be thickâ¦
Wallbanger hilarious, but it also borders on ridiculous. There are some parts of this book that are really, really weird; so weird, that I’m not really sure how much I liked them. But overall, Wallbanger was an enjoyable, funny, sexy read! Once the relationship transitioned from hate, to friendship, and then to romance, it was super sweet, they had so much chemistry, and that’s really what made the book!
Could I spend a little more time trying to come up with a more clever name for Simon’s penis? Probably. It deserved it. Mammoth Male Member? No. Pulsating Pillar of Passion? No. Back Door Bandit? Hell no. Wang? Sounded like the noise those doorstopper things made when you flicked ’em… Wallbanger, page 229
I have to admit, there’s actually less sex in this book than I thought there would be. We don’t actually see a sex scene until like the 85% mark or thereabouts. I guess, in a way it makes sense, because this book is all about Caroline going on a dating hiatus and losing her orgasm, but for some reason I thought there would be more banging! But believe me.. once they started, they didn’t stop. And it was HOT!
But for the most part, this book reads more like a contemporary romantic comedy than anything else. And I kind of liked that. It was about work, dating, not dating, friendships, awkwardness, and an adorably hilarious cat. The cat was seriously my favourite character. He was really heavily personified (almost to the point where he did things that I swear no cat would do), but that’s what made him awesome. Even though Wallbanger does get frustratingly taunting in some places, I mostly breezed right through this book and enjoyed it.
The best part of Wallbanger is how much chemistry Caroline and Simon had. WOW! The chemistry was so thick that I could barely breathe. These two are literally perfect for each other. Their hilarious banter (riddled with sexual innuendos) was one of the best parts to read. That’s also what made this book so frustrating; they so obviously had great chemistry but they deny their attraction for SO. FREAKING. LONG.
Would he notice if I licked his shoulder? Just the tiniest taste? Wallbanger, page 199
I LOVED Simon. At first I thought he was going to be an asshole—and at first maybe he is a little bit—but it turns out he’s a really, really great guy. He’s sweet, he’s attentive, he’s smoking hot, and he has his little deep insightful moments. Even though he starts out a playboy, he turns into a great “potential boyfriend” figure.
The parts I didn’t like, all revolved around Caroline talking to her orgasm. Yes. TALKING TO HER ORGASM. At first it was a little funny and I chuckled at a few lines. But after a while—especially in the second half of the book—it just got a little repetitive and even weirder. A little too weird for me, I think. It reminded me too much of Ana’s inner goddess prancing around town in Fifty Shades of Grey. But this was even weirder. It was funny during the first part of the book, but then it’s like Caroline took things into overdrive like the moment when she finally had her orgasm and she envisioned herself jumping off a cliff to meet a smiling, waving woman… her orgasm personified. What the fuck?
During month four of The Missing O, I’d started to talk to my O as though she were an actual entity. She felt real enough when she was rocking my world back in the day, but sadly, now that O had abandoned me, I wasn’t sure I’d recognize her if I saw her. Wallbanger, page 4
I think O even popped her head up for a moment, like a groundhog. She took a quick glance around and pronounced it much closer to spring than she’s been in months. Wallbanger, age 168
I peeked over the edge, I saw her. O. She waved at me, diving under and over the water like a sexual porpoise. Crafty little bitch. Wallbanger, page 282
Ultimately I think this is a book that will be all over the map for people. Some will love it, others will hate it, and a few people will be in between. I really enjoyed it, but I could also see the ridiculousness of it (the whole O thing). So if you’re thinking of picking it up, I would definitely recommend reading a few quotes (or an excerpt, if you can!) before digging in! I think the quotes will really help you get a good sense of whether or not you’ll enjoy the humour and writing style.