Review: Amour Amour by Krista Ritchie and Becca Ritchie

Amour AmourAmour Amour by Becca Ritchie, Krista Ritchie
Published by: Self Published on December 11, 2014
Genre: Contemporary, Romance
Pages: 347
Source: Purchased
Goodreads
Rating: ★½

Love is a circus

"Every day,” he says lowly, “I hold a person’s life in my hands. The circus is based one-hundred percent off trust. I give it all to someone, and they give it all to me.”

The best aerial technique won’t land 21-year-old Thora James her dream role in Amour—a sexy new acrobatic show on the Vegas strip. Thora knows she’s out of her element the second she meets Amour’s leading performer. Confident, charming and devilishly captivating, 26-year-old Nikolai Kotova lives up to his nickname as the “God of Russia.”

When Thora unknowingly walks into the crosshairs of Nikolai’s after-show, her audition process begins way too soon. Unprofessional. That’s what Nik calls their “non-existent” relationship. It’s not like Thora can avoid him. For one, they may be partners in the future—acrobatic partners, that is. But getting closer to Nik means diving deeper into sin city and into his dizzying world.

Thora wants to perform with him, but when someone like Nikolai attracts the spotlight wherever he goes—Thora fears that she’s destined to be just background to his spellbinding show.

I actually started out liking Amour Amour. I read through the first ~20% really quickly and I enjoyed it. The circus and gymnastic aspect was really interesting! It was different than anything I’d read before and I was really excited for more.

Then, when the romance kicked in, it took over everything and ruined the book.

I feel like my Goodreads status updates say it all, so I’ll just share those:

47%
I don’t really see the chemistry here
56%
Is my interest in this fading?
64%
Give me less romance and more gymnastics stuff. Never thought I’d say that.
65%
If she complains about how they “won’t fit together” (sexually… Size-wise) one more time… I will explode
65%

“And what’s your speed?”

“Much faster. Harder. Deeper.”

*snort* what’s wrong with me? I feel like I’ve decided I’m no longer into this story so now I can’t take it seriously. Sigh.

67%
Bahaha I have been waiting for this moment!
68%
Also, her “best friend” is a total dick wad
72%

“Love—it has to come second.”

Funny, the book really makes it feel like it’s first.

74%

“Tiny things don’t fit with big ones.”

STOP IT!!!

74%
That wasn’t much foreplay.

I had so many problems with this romance

I didn’t like it.

I never saw the chemistry, which is funny because I think it’s supposed to be ALL about chemistry in this story.

Nikolai is not the devil

Thora constantly refers to Nikolai as “the devil” or “a demon” or something like that. Now, this is a small thing, but I HATED that she said that.

I’m going on a date with the devil.

I’d be fine with her calling Nikolai a demon if he was a “bad boy”… but he’s not. There’s nothing bad about him at all. Sure, he’s kind of moody, but he’s just not a bad boy. He’s a total family man. So why the hell is he a demon? Or the devil… whatever…

OH MY GOD STOP SAYING YOU WON’T FIT TOGETHER!!

Nikolai is supposedly like 6’5″. I don’t know how tall Thora is, but I’m guessing she’s at least a foot shorter. Stupid Thora would not shut up about how Nikolai was too big/tall to fit inside her. Yes, sexually. AND SHE WOULD NOT STOP REPEATING THAT!!

I didn’t really mind it the first time. It was kind of an awkward thing to say, but whatevs. Then she kept saying it.. Again. And again. And again. SHUT UP, WOMAN! I literally think this was the most annoying part of the book for me. I don’t even know if I can fully explain why it grinds my gears—it just does. Maybe because it made Thora look a bit silly and pathetic? I don’t know. It was just WEIRD!

I can’t stop thinking about our size difference. “We’re not going to fit together,” I say aloud.
“I’ll be able to fit deep inside you. And when I do, you’re going to be entirely full of me.”
“We’re not going to fit together.”
And she probably fits better with him. Physically.
I’m just overly concerned about how large he looks in my tiny apartment. And how tiny I am compared to him. Tiny things don’t fit with big things.
He’s too tall. I’m too short, and our pelvises do not line up.

CEASE!!!!!

But really, it all boiled down to no chemistry

Maybe I would have liked this book a lot more if I could actually get on board with the romance… but I didn’t. So that’s a problem. I just didn’t click with it. I didn’t care. I didn’t like Nikolai. I didn’t like Thora much either. It was just all so… bleh.

Where’s the gymnastics?

One of the reasons why I loved the beginning was because of the gymnastics. It was EXCITING and COOL! But then it faded…

What’s funny is that Thora repeats this mantra throughout the whole book that, “The circus comes first.” She and Nikolai had this agreement that the circus would come first and their relationship would be second. If given a choice, they’d always choose the circus over each other. Well, that’s funny because the ROMANCE dominated the book—not the circus. It was all “Nikolai this” or “He’s so hot” or “He won’t fit inside me” or “He’s the God of Russia” or “Nikolai is the muse of Renaissance sculptors” blah blah blah. It was all about the fucking romance! The circus took a back seat to their chemistry-lacking relationship, despite what they kept saying.

Other more minor annoyances

  1. Thora’s “best friend” was a total dick wad.
  2. I got really sick of Thora constantly being unsure of herself and second guessing everything.
  3. Thora was like the boring, plain, not very pretty girl who wins over the most popular “bad boy” that all the girls swoon over. Why? There wasn’t anything special about her. Half the time stupid nonsense poured out of her mouth. Her comebacks were things like “because…” since she couldn’t come up with anything more substantial.
  4. I’m not sure how I felt about Nikolai’s bluntness. He didn’t sugar coat things at all. He constantly said things like, “you will fail, Thora. You’re not good enough. I can’t put it more plainly than that.” Is it nice that he’s being honest? Or douchy that he’s being so unsupportive?

The Verdict

avoid

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15 comments

    1. I actually hadn’t read anything by these authors before but I saw this book getting a lot of promo and it seemed a ton of people were excited about it.. so I bought it on a total whim.

      A lot of people are giving this 4 or 5 stars so it’s still worth you giving it a try! You might like it!

  1. Ugh!!! I abhor when heroines say “it won’t fit” Seriously!?!? IT WILL FIT!
    Another thing that’s really been bothering me lately is the phrase “sex on a stick” referring to the sexy heroes. It’s in like EVERY SINGLE BOOK >.<
    Idk I'm in a bit of a book funk, so quite a few things are rubbing me wrong lately. And I can totally understand why this one annoyed you. Better luck with your next read!

    Stacy (StacyHgg) recently posted: The Sweet Gum Tree by Katherine Allred ~ Review
    1. I know!! It’s not going to not fit.. sheesh!!

      Any phrase that gets repeated across multiple books can get so annoying. The one that bugs me is when the MC touches the love interest and there’s a “spark” or “jolt of electricity” or something like that. It’s always the same wording to describe the same thing that probably never happens in real life.. *grumble*

      Luckily the book I read after this one was FAAAABULOUS! (The Book of Ivy).

      1. I’ve heard of The Book of Ivy, I’ll have to check that one out!

        As for sparks or jolts, I am not a fan of those phrases either. I get awareness, tingly, butterflies, or sweaty palms because those are believable. And most women can relate to those feelings when newly dating someone they really like. But if a guy “shocked” me I’d be thinking he needed some anti-static agents…

        Stacy (StacyHgg) recently posted: The Sweet Gum Tree by Katherine Allred ~ Review
  2. So sorry this one didn’t work out for you. Yeah after one time that would have pissed me off too. Unless he has a penis the size of a walrus’ I don’t see the need to point that out. I have read books before where everything was a penis and I almost chucked the book across the room and into a fire so I can see where you would be fed up. Sorry there wasn’t enough of the good stuff. Hope the next book you read is better.

    Sharrice@ Reese's Reviews recently posted: Weekly Recap #14
  3. I have a really hard time reading and enjoying erotica because there’s always this emphasis on a guy’s penis size and how he’s “not going to fit” and that drives me crazy. I loved their Addicted series and I love these authors so I’ll likely pick up this book, I just hope I enjoy it more than you did! Sorry it wasn’t an enjoyable read; their other books are great though! Great review, Ashley. 🙂

    Sydney recently posted: Busy busy bee

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